I am still putting the day in my post title. Got a little feedback on that....seems others have done that too, and also got a bit tired of it. Trouble is, I have a hard time letting go of something right in the middle....too random!! So I think if I'm going to drop the "counting days" thing, I'll have to pick a specific day of significance to do so. I guess I'm kinda uptight that way. So maybe it'll be "Day 100" or something like that....
Onward....
No walk/run for my C25K yesterday: I walked in the door from work, ran a quick errand, and it starting raining. And it was cold. No thanks! So I'll have to make sure I do something today, even if it rains again. I don't want to lose my momentum.
On another note, I've started taking melatonin at night to try and help me get a better night's rest. I've had such a hard time for the last couple years. So I'm taking 8mg at about 9pm, with the goal of getting to bed by 11pm. This, I have to tell you, is one amazing feat for me. For 10.5 years I went to school at night, after work. Most of the time, the only peace I'd get to do homework was after the kids were in bed. That coupled with the fact that I've been a night person my whole life, has resulted in me getting to sleep most nights some time after midnight. It's not uncommon for me to be up until 1am. And on the nights when I struggle to fall asleep, it can be as late as 2 or 3am. And then up at 6am.....or 6:30....which often meant I got to work late. This has been a very long struggle for me. So with the help of my little droid alarm app, I take the melatonin at 9, and "force" force myself to climb into bed by 11.
A couple nights ago, I actually took the melatonin and THEN went for my walk/run with the youngest, and was still able to fall asleep! That is a good sign indeed.
And I have actually gotten 7 hrs of sleep for 3 nights in a row! WOOHOO!! Unbelievable!
I'm actually trying to do this for 2 full weeks. See, my problem is that I really don't like to go to bed.....I always feel like I'm missing something. So for me to commit to the idea of going to bed at 11pm forever is just way too uncomfortable for me. By choosing to do this for 2 weeks, I think I am giving myself the opportunity to see the results and feel good about it, without feeling the rebelliousness of "I don't wanna go to bed!!!""
Such a kid.....
And last but not least, yesterday's food re-cap:
Coffee for breakfast
soup and apple cider for lunch
2 hard boiled eggs and an apple for dinner.
Water all day
I know this isn't much of a menu, but I just wasn't hungry yesterday. And the things I did eat made me feel full, so I didn't want to make myself eat and feel miserable. It was just one of those days....
Just want to add one more note: thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement!! It really means a lot!
__________
And later....
Youngest and I went on our C25K run/walk tonight. Took my melatonin...getting sleepy. Almost time for bed. "Nite all...
Showing posts with label keep going. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keep going. Show all posts
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Day 33 Don't Should on Yourself
A good friend of mine teaches personal growth seminars. The seminars are focused on helping people recognize the beliefs and behaviors that hold them back from achieving their dreams, that sabotage their relationships, and generally serve to keep them "stuck" in their current mind-set. Very insightful this friend of mine, and very blunt....straightforward...in other words, very good at calling me on my sh*t. But on the flip side, he is totally non-judgemental about it. There is no condemnation in his observations, only honesty and curiousity. And he has said to me on more than one occasion "Don't should on yourself".....(read "don't sh*t on yourself")....don't beat yourself up in ways that serve no purpose...it only makes a mess.
Last week Lanie Painie posted on polarizing words, like always/never, and the idea that one stumble = complete failure (she doesn't feel this way, she was observing it is someone else). I've thought of her post several times this week, and it really coincides with my friend's "Don't should on yourself" phrase.
When assessing our progress (or lack of it), it's important to:
1) Be honest: we will not make progress if we constantly fool ourselves and make excuses about our choices in foods/quantity/frequency, and about exercise or lack thereof. My friend is always an observer, always ready to look at a choice or behavior and wonder about it. "Hmm, that's interesting. I just did such-and-such. What's that all about? How could I have done that differently?".
Example: I ate a donut. Hmm, that's interesting. That's not consistent with my goals. What's that all about? Well, the boss brought them in for our meeting and I couldn't resist. So my boss brings in donuts and I feel compelled to eat one, even though I know that they're bad for me. Did I feel like I needed to be part of the group? Was it the sight of them that did it? The smell? All of the above? How could I do that differently? I could ask the boss if he/she'd consider something healthier next time. I could be sure to eat breakfast before meetings so I'm not hungry and feeling tempted in that way. I could bring my own snack to the meeting. And at the very least, I could eat HALF a donut instead. Heck, you could even suggest that the boss bring in those little donut holes. One of those is better than the whole donut! The important thing is to observe without judgement, and then explore future possibilities. Think about the things you CAN do instead of the things you CAN'T. You can't change the past. Which leads to.....
2.) Don't should on yourself: don't internally berate yourself for past mistakes. It won't change a damn thing. The mistakes have been made and no amount of beating yourself up is going to un-do it. Better to accept that you made a choice that is not consistent with your goals, and that moment has passed. This moment presents an opportunity to make a better choice. And then make it. End of story. No should-ing. Observe the chain of events that lead to the mistake, and look for the triggers that caused them. Don't judge, just notice what they are. And look for different possibilities.
I think the "should-ing" is a way to prolong the self-sabotage. We punish ourselves for making the mistake by making more of them. It's a way of subconsciously telling ourselves that we don't deserve to be successful.
Stop the madness! We all deserve to be successful.
Winston Churchill said "If you're going through hell, keep going". I love that phrase. I even got it on a fridge magnet, and whenever my kids are struggling (or I'm struggling) I point it out to them. If I'm going through a bad situation, what is the sense of stopping to smell the rotten roses? Why linger? Why prolong the misery? Get moving! If you're running along a stretch of burning coals, you're not going to stand still, are ya? Heck no! If anything, you run faster and straighter toward the end.
Should-ing on yourself is the same as standing still on the hot coals. It makes the pain more intense. Is the goal more pain?
Last week Lanie Painie posted on polarizing words, like always/never, and the idea that one stumble = complete failure (she doesn't feel this way, she was observing it is someone else). I've thought of her post several times this week, and it really coincides with my friend's "Don't should on yourself" phrase.
When assessing our progress (or lack of it), it's important to:
1) Be honest: we will not make progress if we constantly fool ourselves and make excuses about our choices in foods/quantity/frequency, and about exercise or lack thereof. My friend is always an observer, always ready to look at a choice or behavior and wonder about it. "Hmm, that's interesting. I just did such-and-such. What's that all about? How could I have done that differently?".
Example: I ate a donut. Hmm, that's interesting. That's not consistent with my goals. What's that all about? Well, the boss brought them in for our meeting and I couldn't resist. So my boss brings in donuts and I feel compelled to eat one, even though I know that they're bad for me. Did I feel like I needed to be part of the group? Was it the sight of them that did it? The smell? All of the above? How could I do that differently? I could ask the boss if he/she'd consider something healthier next time. I could be sure to eat breakfast before meetings so I'm not hungry and feeling tempted in that way. I could bring my own snack to the meeting. And at the very least, I could eat HALF a donut instead. Heck, you could even suggest that the boss bring in those little donut holes. One of those is better than the whole donut! The important thing is to observe without judgement, and then explore future possibilities. Think about the things you CAN do instead of the things you CAN'T. You can't change the past. Which leads to.....
2.) Don't should on yourself: don't internally berate yourself for past mistakes. It won't change a damn thing. The mistakes have been made and no amount of beating yourself up is going to un-do it. Better to accept that you made a choice that is not consistent with your goals, and that moment has passed. This moment presents an opportunity to make a better choice. And then make it. End of story. No should-ing. Observe the chain of events that lead to the mistake, and look for the triggers that caused them. Don't judge, just notice what they are. And look for different possibilities.
I think the "should-ing" is a way to prolong the self-sabotage. We punish ourselves for making the mistake by making more of them. It's a way of subconsciously telling ourselves that we don't deserve to be successful.
Stop the madness! We all deserve to be successful.
Winston Churchill said "If you're going through hell, keep going". I love that phrase. I even got it on a fridge magnet, and whenever my kids are struggling (or I'm struggling) I point it out to them. If I'm going through a bad situation, what is the sense of stopping to smell the rotten roses? Why linger? Why prolong the misery? Get moving! If you're running along a stretch of burning coals, you're not going to stand still, are ya? Heck no! If anything, you run faster and straighter toward the end.
Should-ing on yourself is the same as standing still on the hot coals. It makes the pain more intense. Is the goal more pain?
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