Countin' & Measurin'

Awhile back, oh about a month or so ago, Paula posted about buying some new measuring spoons, which she promptly put in her purse, only to take them back out again, concerned about being "extreme". And then she discussed her worry about finding balance without  having to drag around all the "tools" all the time.

I get how she really justs wants to get to a place where it all comes naturally, and easily: being able to make good choices, in healthy quantities. I get that she doesn't relish the idea of having to spend each and every mealtime counting, measuring, adding up, worrying, debating.....

My eating habits took a long time to evolve into what they were before I started this journey of weight loss. It all sorta crept up on me. And then one day, I took a look at the plate-full of food I'd put in front of me, and had this vague, detached sort of worried feeling. It wasn't the "ton of bricks" realization all at once, it was sort of a few bricks at a time. I'd cook, I'd plate up, I'd sit down to eat, and walk away absolutely stuffed to the point of being miserable. As if the last 10-20 bites were suddenly more tasty than the first 10-20. And by that time, the kinds of foods I ate had changed dramatically. I never used to be a cheese person, or a snack person, or a sweets person. I liked fresh fruit, not fruit pie. I liked plain foods without sauces, and I didn't drink much pop. But that all changed as my taste buds "matured". And I learned to love salt, fat & sugar, pasta, all the starchy foods, gravies....

And over the course of, oh....maybe a year or so, I realized that what I'd been eating had grown to about 3-5 times the quantity of what I used to eat 20 years ago. And I never was a "light" eater, only a reasonable eater, and I made better choices. Over all the years after my kids were born, what I ate got worse and worse, and how much I ate multiplied. And one day I looked at my plate and all the pieces came together: why in the hell am I putting **this** much food on my plate?!? And why am I obsessed with eating it all?!?
I had no clue about how many ounces I should eat, or even what 2 ounces of this or 4 ounces of that looked like. As much cooking as I've done, I seemed to have become disconnected between the "ingredient" ounces and the "eating" ounces. There was no connection in my mind between what I dumped into a bowl, and what an actual serving looked like.

I don't want to drag around a set of  measuring spoons and cups forever either. I want to get to a point where it all comes naturally and easily. I want to be very clear on what an actual "healthy" serving looks like, as opposed to what is put on my plate in a restaurant.

That may be where things started going wrong for me. Eating out. I've spent a good deal of my adult life going to night school, which thankfully is now finished. And I've worked full time and raised two kids, some of that time as a single parent, and then three kids after hubby and I got together. And the ease of eating out was just too tempting, when I'd come home exhausted and starving. I had no concept of whether the quantities I'd get were healthy or excessive. And I didn't care.

So now that I have spent several years feeling more and more miserable, hurting, feeling weak and tired all the time, getting sick alot.....well now I want to know. Now I want to learn how to measure and count. Now I want to have some idea of whether I'm comsuming 400 calories or 4000. Now I think I will get a set of measuring spoons to stick in my purse

.......at least for awhile

_________

Breakfast was 300 calories, oatmeal and coffee

Lunch:  5 prunes, 90 calories
one piece of raisin bread with 1 tsp butter, 123 calories
one clementine, 35 calories
10 cashews, 76 calories

And I counted and measured all of it!

Total so far today: 624 calories
3 bottles of water.