Tuesday, December 28, 2010

By the way, I never came back and logged in yesterday's food.

Coffee and juice and water in the morning, followed shortly by turkey, about 4 ounces. Later in the day I had 4 ounces of green bean casserole, water, more coffee, one ounce of sausage, an orange, more water and no dinner. Not very hungry yesterday. Not very hungry today either.

Also making the turkey soup tonight.

Really wish my body would get "regular" already.....

129 Days and Still At It

Woke up late again. Hubby and I have let our schedules slip ridiculously, staying up waaaaaaay to late and then sleeping in. Then we napped this afternoon....Oi! Talk about being lazy!

Hubby made french toast for breakfast and I had two slices and a clementine, plus coffee and water. Had another water, followed by more coffee. Lunch was some turkey, about 5 ounces, with 2 slices of cranberry sauce, plus another water. Not really feeling hungry for dinner, so I'll probably just have a snack of fruit or some veggies like carrots/celery/cauliflower.

Having some family stress that is weighing on me quite a bit. Not my problems directly, but I'm definitely being affected by them, and likely to get roped into it if the problems persist. Trying really hard not to hyper-focus cooking something.....

Monday, December 27, 2010

Days 125-128 Catching up From Christmas!

Well, the house chores hit a fever pitch by Friday night, and we didn't stop til about 2 or 3 am. I was up getting the turkey in early Saturday morning, and thankfully, everything went well. I had enough room in the oven for the things on the menu. I got help from our two girls getting things done. Everyone arrived at about 2pm, and by 2:30, I was putting everything on the table....and wonder of all wonders, it was all hot, and all done at the same time. Everyone liked the food, I got lots of compliments, and the best part of all is that I didn't stuff myself. I skipped all the potatoes, sausage, and corn. I had the turkey, green beans, salad, and cranberry sauce. And I had lots of coffee and water that day.

I didn't record a loss this week, but no gain either. And I am still having issues with the bathroom. I'm still not going for sometimes 2-3 days, and so I'm thinking that maybe that's one reason for no loss this week. I'm thinking that a laxative may become my friend.....oh joy....

Sunday was pure recovery day. And quite emotional for me. Not sure if its PMS or what, but I spent a good deal of the day in tears. Our youngest went to spend the night at a friends, and then oldest came over and her, hubby and I went to the movies to see The Little Fokkers. I think they were trying a little too hard on this one. Meet the Parents, and Meet the Fokkers were funny enough, but this one was a bit much. There were some funny moments to be sure, but not something I would spend $10 to see....wish I hadn't this time either.

After saying goodbye to oldest, hubby and I went home and I was back to the emotional crap.

I hate that. I have days where I am all kinds of pissed off and emotional, and feel justified about all of it, and the next day, I can't understand why I was so upset. In retrospect, it all seems out of proportion.

I guess it must be PMS....its coming soon...yay.

I have not been tracking my calories, but I have been behaving for the most part. And I am back on schedule today, with 16 ounces of water and a mug of coffee so far.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and enjoyed some nice time with family and friends.

I'll be checking in with your blogs throughout the day.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

124 Days and a Ten Day Break

I'm very fortunate to work for a company that gives us 10 days off for the Holidays...we have to say "holiday" to be pc, but for me its Christmas. I am sooooo in need of a break. And that is probably the best Christmas present: to be able to spend that much time home relaxing with family.

But I am a little bit concerned. Right now I have a routine for getting my water in and spacing out the meals/calories. When I am home full time for ten days, I'm worried about my schedule going right out the window...

Are any of you feeling this?

I'm thinking I still need to be setting my alarm to get up at a reasonable hour...otherwise I just know that I'll start sleeping in, and that leads to me staying up later and later......which will stretch out to 3 or 4am. I am such a night person, and trying not to be is an uphill battle. In any event, I'm going to also set an alarm on my phone to remind me about drinking the water. If I can get that part in on time, I'm pretty sure I can keep the calories in line as well, since I'm not so hungry when I'm full of water.

Do any of you have a plan for keeping on track when you are not on your regular schedule?

The hand is healing, getting less sore each day. No sign of infection, thank God! I was really worried about little bits of wood dust being trapped in there from the drill bit. Guess I got lucky!

So I am on the hook for Christmas dinner, and we will be having 9 people. Thats not a lot, but 5 of the 9 are between 68 and 80 years old. Oh boy!!

Of that, 2 are diabetic, one doesn't like turkey, 2 don't like ham, one cannot eat anything green (something to do with a blood-clotting issue), one doesn't eat any salad dressing, one doesn't eat any veggies whatsoever. And that is just the old folks! There is not one single child in that list of picky eaters! Oh joy! Matter of fact, there will be two teens there, who are the best eaters of the bunch. Plus we have one with certain food allergies.

So the menu is:

Turkey, brined like I did for Thanksgiving (NO eff-ing stuffing because NOBODY eats the eff-ing stuffing!!!!)
Ham and Holiday sausage (Dearborn Brand)
Mashed potatoes
Cheesy potatoes
Green beans
Steamed broccoli
Cranberry sauce
Apple sauce, unsweetened
Dinner rolls
Veggie tray
Shrimp cocktail (maybe)
Apple pie
Sugar-free jello

Holy crap! These people are taking some food HOME!!

My plate will be: turkey, water, broccoli, water, salad, water, apple sauce, water, cranberry sauce, water, and shrimp (maybe), with water for dessert.

And the turkey soup will follow!
And I may make bean soup or lentil soup too.

And then I won't be cooking for the next 8 days!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Days 122 and 123 Owowowowowow!!!!

So, as I've mentioned in the last few posts this weekend, we've been working on the house, specifically our room, painting, etc.

Monday evening I posted a quick food list....and that must have been slightly before I had a little mishap with the drill and my hand later that evening.

Hubby and youngest had stepped out to do some Christmas shopping, and I stayed home to keep moving on the project. I am on a mission to get this done!!

To make a long story short, I poked a hole in my hand. With a 1/16th inch drill bit....through my palm... and nearly through the back of my hand (the drill was NOT on, but was behind me standing upright on the floor. I thought there was a stool behind me, and I reached around to swat it out of my way, and instead slammed my hand directly onto the bit). Half an inch deep...... After hopping around the house for 30 minutes yowling and crying and calling my self stupid, the adrenaline finally kicked in, numbing the excruciating pain enough for me to answer the phone. ( The bit went between the bones, but I think I grazed a nerve and/or tendon cuz the back of my hand hurt worse than where the drill bit went in).  My friend (who is a nurse, and whose husband is also a nurse) told me to go get a tetanus shot....not sure when I got the last one. By that time I had calmed down and was assessing the damage and feeling quite stupid about the whole thing. I was not about to go sit in our local ER for 6 hours ( I have experience with this, the hospital is literally at the end of the next block over from my house). I decided I would call my doc in the morning and go in then. Sure enough, I call, they tell me to come in right away, and give me the shot and some antibiotics. The back of my hand actually hurt worse and was more swollen than the entrance point in my palm, which concerned the doc, and she wants me to watch it carefully.

So that was my Monday night. Tuesday, after the doc visit, I got to play orchestrator while hubby did the lifting, moving, tool handling.

I cannot believe how dumb that was. It is better today, although now my palm is the sorest part, with the swelling having gone down on the back of my hand. I assume the meds have done/are doing their job to ward off infection.

So food yesterday was, again, strictly utilitarian....cooking was the last thing on my mind.  2 hard boiled eggs, an orange, a pear, 3 cups of coffee, a glass of juice, 5 waters, 2 slices of raisin bread, 1/8 cup of cashews.

Boring, boring crap.

But I am closing in on the bedroom. The carpet guy came yesterday to take measurements, and will be here to install within 2 weeks!!! Yay!!

The paint is on the walls, the crown moulding is up, the lights are in behind the crown, and I'll be trimming the windows tonight.

Today so far: 3 waters, a mug of coffee, salad of iceberg, romaine, red onion, sliced chicken, diced apple, cranberries and viniagrette.

No idea what I'll be having later tonight, but I definitely need to "plan ahead". I stay on task better when I plan ahead what to eat and when.

So....more later

Monday, December 20, 2010

121 Days and Swamped!

Quick food check in for the day and then back to the home improvement...

2 hard boiled eggs, 2 oranges, 4 ounce center-cut pork chop (trimmed), 1 cup of applesauce, 2 slices of toast with low-sugar preserves. 5 bottles of water, 2 glasses of cranraspberry juice, 2 cups of coffee.

Back to work...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Crazy-Busy Weekend

Still working on the bedroom. I'm putting in a crown moulding with lighting behind. It's kinda funky, but I think it'll be cool when finished. Been at it all day, which means food has been strictly utilitarian...keep a little something in there so I don't pass out.

So I've had another hard-boiled egg and that same thing as last night: avocado & corn chips.

So, 549+77+432=1058

Oh yeah, plus a 5-Hour Energy...something like 5 calories I think...

I've had a TON of water today...way over my max....something like 7 or 8 bottles. Lost count after 5.

Now I'm whipped and ready for bed

And thank you all for the great comments!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I AM Indeed Losing it!

I have to do this funky thing to weigh myself these days. I started weighing myself on the scale at work, because its calibrated yearly. I take off my shoes and drop the various paraphernalia (phones, jacket, tools, etc) and always weigh myself in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

A couple weeks ago, I got on the scale at home for the Sunday weigh in for SSDDDC, and I was 3-4 pounds heavier. AACK!! I was so pissed. Then I went to work on Monday, weighed myself again, and I was back down the same amount. Since then, I've done a little experiment. I'll weigh myself right before I leave work, drive 3 minutes to my house, and get on the scale at home. Sure enough. My home scale is 3-4 pounds heavier on a consistent basis.

Problem is, I still need to weigh in on Sunday for the challenge. Therefore, since I've confirmed the difference between the 2 scales several times, and I need to get my number to Allan on the weekend, I'm weighing myself at home, and adjusting down by 2 pounds instead of 3, just to be safe. So this morning I did the normal routine...up, bathroom, coffee, shower, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and the scale says, adjusting down 2 pounds, that I've lost another 3 pounds! WooHoo!!. The plan is so working!!! I'll verify this at work this week. But I'm SOOOO happy!!

119 Days Oh My Aching Back!

Wow....woke up way too early this morning with a splitting headache and a serious backache...from all the reaching over my head to paint crap. Got up early, bathroom break, tylenol & juice (130 calories), and went back to bed. Just got up again, repeat (130 calories)...except I'm staying up now, and its coffee time too (120 calories). Breakfast will be oatmeal, 160 calories.

Running total, 540....and I've barely made it out of bed...ugh! Gotta lay off the juice. The calories are just too high.

And its almost time to get busy. Just a few more minutes of easing into this day....

Good morning everyone. Hope you have a great weekend, and if shopping is in your plan, good luck and happy hunting!

More later.....

Well, I got out the oatmeal and just couldn't bring myself to eat it. Totally not in the mood for it, so I had a grapefruit instead (92 cal), and I had a hard-boiled egg (77 cal).

Revised total so far: 549 calories

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 118... And Only 8 Days Til Christmas! AACK!!

Things I've gotten done:
Lost 2 more pounds, got the dinner menu worked out, got a final tally on dinner guests, decided how to fit them into my tiny house, got hubby's buy-in on the plan.

Things left to do:
Finish painting the bedroom, shop for dinner, send out cards, shop for gifts, clean the house, re-arrange the family room, lose my mind.....

Oh wait! Already did that!!

I'm on vacation today, monday and tuesday, so at least I have a fighting chance of getting some of this stuff done.

So far today: a banana, 105 calories, 2 cups of coffee, 120 calories, one water, and an orange 69 calories. I am soooo on target, and soooo motivated to stay there!


Finished off the day with 4 more waters, one bean burrito 370 calories, one avocado & 18 corn chips 432 calories. Glass of cranberry-pomegranate juice, 120 calories

Total 846 calories, 83 ounces of water, 24 ounces of coffee, 8 ounces of juice.

Happy dance!!

And I got the bedroom painted!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Food log...

Oatmeal, 160 calories
banana, 105 calories
6 med-lg strawberries, 50 calories
2 mugs of coffee, 120 calories
2 bottles of water

435 calories so far


6 ounces steamed green beans, 2.0 ounces low-fat cream of mush soup w/ 2%, 3 Tbsp ff onions 180 cal
One serving of orzo, 210 calories
1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce, 50 calories
10 ounces oj, 130 calories

Total so far: 1005 calories

117 Days And I Didn't Eat the Cheesecake

Ugh!! I overslept this morning....head is still plugged and hurting. Drinking the water and I JUST CANT WAIT FOR THE END OF THE DAY!!! My motivation at work is in the gutter and I just want a break.

Getting a bunch of my water in before I finish my coffee.

Sorry the posts have been so dull lately. Just trying to stay on task and avoid the "visions of sugarplums"....or cheesecake, as it were. My daughter made hubby a home-made cheesecake for his birthday. You know the kind...almost 3 inches tall.....takes hours to make. Fresh strawberry compote spooned on top.

And I've avoided it. Last night as we were winding down for the night, he had a big slice.....and I just glanced at him a couple times.....and each time I'd look over and start to think how good that looked, I'd stop and think "No, you just think it will taste good, and maybe it will in your mouth...but if you eat that, you are not going to feel good...your stomach will not like it and neither will your conscience."

So I resisted. And I feel better for it. And I just want to hang on to that for awhile....

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

End of the nite tally

Finished the night with soup for dinner (144 calories plus 1/4 c shredded cheese 120 calories, plus crumbled corn chips 274 calories), with a side of tylenol. I have a splitting headache..... No snacks after dinner, but i did have a banana (105 calories) when i got home from work. 2 more bottles of water. Going to bed in a few.

Nite all...

Calories total for the day: 1105
Total fluids: 33 + 33 + 10 + 16 = 92
Food recap so far

An orange, 69 calories
An apple. 77 calories
One egg, poached 71 calories
one slice of toast, 55 calories
orange juice, 130 calories
bottle of water

Total so far: 462 calories
33 ounces of water, 10 ounces of juice, 16 ounces of coffee

Day 116 And Winding Down for the Holidays....(at work)

Seems funny to say that I'm "winding down" for the holidays, when the holidays usually means winding up. However, I'm tying up all the loose ends on my job and working toward starting off the new year with a clean slate. I'm am extremely fortunate to work for a company that gives us a very nice chunk of time off - Christmas Eve thru New Years Day. That means I don't go back to work until the 3rd, since the 1st is on a Saturday. WooHoo!! And as if that weren't good enough, I still have 3 vacation days left to use, which I'll be taking on Friday, Monday and Tuesday. That means I have 3 work days left this year.


Damn that feels good!!

So, a quick recap of last night: finished off my final water as I was climbing into bed, putting me at 5 bottles, so I got that in.

Done with one bottle this morning, plus a cup of coffee (coffee-mate and 2 tsp raw sugar) 60 calories.
Forgot to grab some fruit before leaving this morning, so I'm going to have to stick it out til lunchtime. Also have to get my sleep schedule straightened out, since the last few days I've not had breakfast, cuz I've been too tired and running behind in the morning. I'm screwing this schedule up and need to fix it NOW. Last night I took some melatonin at 9:15, and was ready to sleep by 11pm. That will work, as long as I can get that habit re-established. I was doing really well there for about 3 weeks, and then I dropped the ball.

For me, this sleep thing is a defiance issue. I know I need to get more sleep, and I know I need to make a habit of going to bed earlier and getting up earlier, but I hate it. And I resist it. And I become my own worst enemy.

Such a kid......

Anyway, I'm fixing that...again.

More later.....

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Finishing the night on task: I had soup for dinner, another water, a cup of coffee, a tangerine for snack, another water, took my melatonin at 9pm (getting back on that band wagon too) and am fading fast at this point. Oh yeah, had a banana this afternoon too.

Soup, 144 calories
2 tortillas again, 130 calories
one ounce of shredded cheese on soup, 80 calories
tangerine, 35 calories
coffee, 60 calories
banana, 105 calories

Added to the 404 from earlier = 958 calories....

Somehow that doesn't seem right....can't think of anything I missed. No other snacks. The soup was filling, and so has the water been. Maybe that's it. Oh well...just tired.

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement! And for keeping me on my toes!

Goodnight all...
Lunch today: chicken tortilla soup (2 cups soup and 2 tortillas), and a 10 ounce glass of orange-apple-pineapple-tangerine juice, plus a bottle of water.

tortillas, 130 calories
juice, 130 calories
soup, 144 calaories

Total, 404 calories
Water so far: 33 ounces
You know....my post this morning was a bit a gloss-over. Honestly, a bit of B.S.

I joined this challenge so I could lose weight, be held accountable....no...that's not right....hold myself accountable in front of all of you....and change my life-style. And Sunday I ate crap. Not the fruit part, or even the steak part, and certainly not the veggie part. It was the bacon and biscuit & gravy part.  I sorta just blew right on past that as I was posting, trying to minimize it.

But that's the problem.

That's what made me put the pounds on in the first place, and disregarding a screw-up isn't going to help me drop the pounds, and glossing it over isn't me being honest.

So there it is. I screwed up. I ate bacon and sausage gravy on a biscuit and at the end of the meal, I was stuffed and uncomfortable.

Not again. Not today.

Day 115 My Clothes are Starting to Get Baggy!!

WooHoo!!! My pants are getting loose! Normally I don't wear a belt to work, but I'm gonna have to start now! At least until its time to pull out the smaller sizes. That is such a good feeling.

The best feeling though is knowing that I'm doing the right things to help me be healthier. It's knowing that I'm not hurling myself down the pathway to diabetes. It's knowing that I'm reducing my risk for heart disease and stroke and cancer.

My father-in-law had a stroke shortly before I met him. And he also has diabetes. Consequently, him and mother-in-law spend a great deal of energy talking about, planning and worrying about what he can and cannot eat. Ironically, it seems like they do more talking and worrying, than making good choices, but that's another story. The point is, they are in "damage-control" mode now. It's unlikely that they will ever be able to do enough in order for him to eliminate his diabetes, and obviously, the stroke is a done deal. Now, its a matter of coping, and trying to prevent further damage.

My mom has been a smoker and a lousy eater her entire life. No events, not my dad's cancer or heart attack or triple bypass, have caused her to stray from her path. She eats junk and smokes like a chimney. And her health is falling apart before my eyes.

I don't want to be them. And I don't want hubby to be them either.

And I don't want our kids to feel in 20 or 30 years, what we feel today: I'm dreading having to watch the three of them get sicker and sicker, knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

But I can do something about me. And that's why I'm so happy that my clothes are getting baggy. And that I'm not drinking my "bucket of sweet tea" from McDonalds that would give me headrushes and make me feel queasy sometimes. And I'm not the least bit interested in a Super-Size Fries anymore.

I haven't lost the cravings for pasta...I'm still working on that. But I haven't had a fried potato in ......can't even remember! And that makes me feel hopeful that as I continue on this path to getting healthier, I look forward to the time when I have very few cravings for the unhealthy crap, and what I do eat doesn't make me feel miserable.


So, even though I was really busy this weekend and didn't really post much, I'll do my best to recap what I did eat and drink.

Picking up where I left off on Saturday night: Lean Cuisine Beef tips and steamed broccoli, 160 calories. (yuck!) I'm done letting hubby talk me into these!

Sunday was a B-day celebration day.

We went to a brunch buffet. I had a plate-full of fresh fruit: strawberries, blue berries, raspberries, pineapple, oranges, watermelon, cantelope, honeydew. Also had 3 slices of bacon, one biscuit, 3 Tbsp sausage gravy, 2 glasses of cranberry-orange juice, coffee.

No lunch

Dinner: 4 ounces filet mignon with mushrooms, steamed asparagas.

lots of water.

Monday: had a banana and an orange for breakfast, coffee and water.

No lunch, as we were out running around all afternoon, on this day I'd taken as vacation (to spend some quiet time with hubby), that turned into snow-day for youngest child, which then turned into chauffer her and her friends around so they could go sledding.....groan. So much for our quiet time...

Dinner: I made my chicken tortilla soup (without the tortillas) I put tons of peppers in it this time, so there's more "body" to the soup. I put 2 each of red, yellow and orange bell peppers, a couple of Anaheims, a couple of Hungarians, several seranos, 3-4 habaneros, plus two containers of fresh "medium" salsa, and two sweet onions. Also put in 4-5 diced chicken breasts, 2 quarts of chicken broth, and cumin, salt & pepper. Had a bowl of that last night for dinner, topped off with about 1/4 cup shredded mexican cheese.

Lots of water yesterday.

I've not counted my calories yet. I need to punch everything into Nutrition Data and see how I did. I'm sure I was withing range yesterday, but probably not on Sunday. But today I'm on track.

So far: coffee with coffee-mate and 2 tsp sugar, 60 calories. (I've cut my coffee calories in half!!)
One water so far.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day 114 Only 8 Minutes Left

Only eight minutes left to check in with everyone...been busy with hubby's birthday this weekend. Then today we have been recovering from the crappy weather we got yesterday. I took a vacation day to spend "alone" with hubby, only to have 3rd child end up with a snow day. :/

Oh well....

More tomorrow....nite everyone.

I'll update tomorrow.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

112 Days and Counting...

I slept in very late today....like 11:30! Haven't done that in a long time...guess I must have needed it.

Hubby and I had breakfast. I had one poached egg and a piece of dry toast to put it on, 145 calories. Also doing the new thing with coffee, a large mug with 2 tsp raw sugar and 2 tsp of coffee-mate, 50 calories.

So far, I'm behind on the water. Only one bottle so far. I'll get there...

Lunch is the other half of my Greek salad from yesterday, 350 calories.

Running total so far: 545 calories, 16 ounces of coffee, 16 ounces of water.

More later....


Dinner: Lean Cuisine steak tips and broccoli, 160 calories
2 more bottles of water
Cup of coffee, 50 calories (not quite yum, but I'm adjusting.....)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Today's count:

12 oz coffee with coffee-mate and raw sugar, 60 calories
an orange, 69 calories
a plain bagel with one Tbsp cream cheese, 196 calories
10 ounces orange juice, 140 calories
2 waters

Total so far: 465 calories and 55 ounces


Dinner: half of a Greek salad from my fav Coney Island 400 calories
2 more bottles of water
Sugar-free soy cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks, about 100 calories, near as I can calculate.
Glass of white wine, 120 calories
no snacks tonight...

Total for the day: 1085 calories, 105 ounces, including the coffee, not including the wine.

Day 111 My Eleventy First Diet Day

Hehe! Wouldn't we all like to have an Eleventy-First Birthday Like Bilbo Baggins, as long as we are healthy in both body and mind?

Imagine being that age! And healthy to boot!?!

That is one of the reasons why I want to lose weight. I want the rest of my life to be healthy and as pain-free as possible. I have watched numerous family members of mine suffer countless illnesses as they age, many (if not most) of which could have been prevented or significantly reduced if they had had a better life style, had eaten healthier, had been at a healthier weight. The growing mountain of evidence from the medical community tells us that most heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes....is caused by poor diet, meaning too much food and all the wrong kinds, and lack of exercise.

All very fixable.

I like the idea of still having adventures as I get older. I want to spend my later years being happy, enjoying friends and family, going places and seeing things.

And the inside of the doctor's office isn't what I want to be seeing. Nor do I want to spend my days talking about what "this doctor said" or "that nurse did". Every time hubby and I visit with my Mom or his folks, that is the number-one topic of conversation: doctor's visits. They talk about which doctor's they are seeing, what each one said, the cost of prescriptions, medicare, insurance, when their next appointments are, what's hurting this time, that medicine makes them itch, this one makes them tired, that other one makes them constipated, blah, blah, blah.....

It is soooooo depressing. And I get that its depressing for them as well. Which makes it all the more frustrating when I see them continue to make the same bad decisions that got them in this physical condition in the first place. And you can't tell any of them a thing! None of them listen, and I've grown tired of having the same conversation over and over and over again, all to no avail.

I wanna be the happy old lady, still cutting her own lawn, active, fit and rarely at the doctor's office....when I'm 80. I want to be planning my vacations with the knowledge that hubby and I require no "special assistance" in order to get on or off a plane. I want to be planning visits with my great-great grandkids.

That is why I want to lose weight. That is why I want to be healthy. That is why I am drinking 83 ounces of water a day and counting out 1200 calories and showing up here every day to write it all down and get you guys to hold me accountable. That is why I come here every day and read your stories too. To see how you are doing, encourage you, learn from you.

I never thought I could be a "blogger"....now I wonder why I ever thought that...?

Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments you leave! They mean a lot! Really.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Final Count and I am Down...

I ended up with an upset stomach this afternoon...wasn't sure what from. When I got home from work, I felt a bit hungry so I decided that between those two, I'd opt for something safe to eat for dinner.

I made a PPJ with low sugar raspberry preserves and peanut butter, all measured out. Total calories for that were 267.

Earlier this afternoon I had a small banana, too.

Anyway, I know this is all out of order, but by 7:30, my stomach was killing me! It just hurt. Hubby insists it was the carrots (3 large ones). I don't know. Never had issues with raw veggies or too much fruit, but maybe that was it.

Adding the 672 from this morning to whats above: 1029 calories

So far 57 ounces, but I've still got a TV show or two to watch.

Probably not snacking tonight...but if I do, I'll post it tomorrow.

Nite all...

Day 110 Just Checking In

Not much to write about this morning, so I'll just do the daily calorie count so far.

Breakfast: one piece of whole-grain raisin bread 70 calories
1/2 tsp of butter on the toast, 27 calories
3/4 cup of grapes, 75 calories
cup of coffee, 105 calories

Snack, string cheese 70 calories
and 6 wheat thins, 60 calories
cup of coffee, 105 calories

Total so far: 512 calories Whew!! I am eating too much...Actually its the coffee.....ugh!

Leaving for lunch now. I'll have to keep that minimal.


Went home for lunch (instead of attending yet another work-related lunch event at a mexican restaurant) and had:

One ounce of red-pepper hummus, 70 calories
3 large carrots cut in strips, 90 calories

Running total, and I'm trying to keep it low! 672 calories so far

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Finishing the Day's Tally

Just got home from 1) my work Christmas Party, and 2) visiting with my mom.

I stopped by the house, as planned, to pick up my snacks and water before heading to the party. I was handed a plate with 2 slices of pizza, which I promptly tried to hand off to one of the guys. He took one, but not both. And nobody else wanted it either, so I ended up having 2/3 of a slice, leaving a "large crust". Not excusing myself, but I made the choice to call that dinner, along with the banana and string cheese I'd brought along.

That tallied up to 468 calories. I drank 2 more bottles of water while there, as well.

I left there and went to visit Mom. She wanted to go out to eat, and picked this crappy little diner. I had a bowl of chicken soup that I estimated to be about 120 calories, along with a cup of tea with one tsp of honey, 16 calories.

I'm having a small snack of 10 baked wheat crackers, 100 calories.
Grand total for the day: 538 + 604 + 100 = 1242 calories.
And I'm on my 6th bottle of water for the day, totaling 100 ounces.

Nite all!

Gearing Up to Be Good

First, let me count up the days calories.

Breakfast, oatmeal 160 calories
coffee 105 calories

2 waters
an apple, 80 calories

Lunch, one poached egg 71 calories
one slice of dry toast to put the egg on, 60 calories
one orange, 62 calories

Total so far...538 calories and 50 ounces of water.


This afternoon, in less than an hour, my department at work is planning a Holiday Outing...call it a Christmas Party. We are apparently going bowling, and management is picking up the tab for it, including food.....pizza and pop. I am so not going to be eating that pizza! I'm on my 4th day of being COMPLETELY on task of 1200 cal/82 ounces and I am not going to blow it now. There are going to be much more challenging days ahead this month, and the last thing I want to do is blow it on a work event.


I'm filling up on water as I write this, bottle number 4. On my way to the bowling alley, I'm swinging by my house to grab a banana, and a string cheese. (should have done that when I was home for lunch...duh!) Those will keep me filled for a couple hours until its over. And I'm taking 2 bottles of water with me.

Wish me luck....I'll be back to let you know how it went.

Kinda Irritated....

I'm kinda irritated about this one blog I've been following. I started following because initially I thought this person was really gut-level honest about their intake and so on. But every time I go there, all I see are the "goodies" this person eats. While I can see on the blog that this person has lost a lot of weight, I'm wondering why they are blogging about all the sweets and junk food they now eat. Is this back-sliding? Is it bragging?

It sure doesn't look like better eating habits to me...


And why am I following?

Day 109 I'm Slipping....on My Sleep: Lessons on Being Inconsistent

I posted a while back about having sleep issues...having a hard time getting to sleep at night, being a "night person", blah, blah, blah. I'd started taking melatonin every night at about 9 pm, and for several weeks, I was doing really well. By 10:30 or so I'd be ready to go to bed, and I'd be in bed nearly asleep by 11.

And then I fell off the wagon. I stopped taking the melatonin regularly, and sure enough, I stopped going to bed at a reasonable hour....letting my bedtime slip to 12 or 12:30...or even 1am, and then being miserable in the morning.

And the irritating part is that I know what I need to do to fix this problem. I need to be consistent.

I've always hated that word....being consistent. In my mind it was synonymous with "boring" or "predictable" or "unspontaneous". And not being consistent has caused me no small amount of problems over the years. On the contrary, its probably been the single largest character flaw and source of conflict in my life.

My hubby has been a very patient man. And I have to give him all the credit for being my own personal "life coach" in this particular area, being consistent. When we got together, we blended families, my kids, his daughter. And I had been previously oblivious of how being inconsistent had been impacting my life.

Oh sure, there were at least a few areas in my life that I was very reliable about. But there were many, many more areas where I wasn't consistent at all.

And there is nothing like the stress and conflict of blending families to shine spotlights on areas of inconsistency. He and I each had our own ways of doing things. To be honest, he had his own way of doing things, and I had notions of how I did things....that might change daily.

Over the years that we've been together....through many, many.......many conflicts and stressful moments, I've finally come to the realization that being consistent isn't a personality flaw. It isn't a characteristic that somehow sucks the creativity and fun and life right out of you. Being consistent doesn't make you boring.

It makes you capable.

I never got that. I never understood the connection between accomplishing goals and being consistent.

I used to think that accomplishing goals was purely a matter of brute force and enthusiasm. But the notion of steady, consistent steps in the direction of a goal....well, that just eluded me. I just believed that all I needed was the desire, and somehow I'd get there. I've always considered myself a "determined" person. Ironically, the idea that being determined also included being consistent....in my mind, those two things never crossed paths.

Hind sight is 20-20, right?

And wonderful spouses have the ability to change your life. (Right Allan?)

Through several years of hubby coaching, guiding, nudging, pleading, and arguing, the notion of being consistent has started to sink in. I am MUCH more consistent today than I ever have been in my life.

Don't get me wrong....obviously I still have a long way to go...hence the sleep issues that brought me to this post.

I still have a bit of a blind side that makes it difficult for me to see clearly the steps I need to take, the ways that I need to be consistent in order to be successful. But that brick wall is getting smaller all the time. I'm learning to embrace the idea of being consistent.

I'm learning that consistency is not the opposite of spontaneity or creativity. They are not mutually exclusive. As a matter of fact, they compliment one another.

 Consistency allows me to have enough order in my life to leave room for spontaneity and creativity, without causing chaos.

And the hidden gem in this lesson for me is that learning to be consistent in my diet, learning to be consistent in taking care of my health and my body will eventually leave room for me to be spontaneous, without wreaking havoc on myself. I don't plan on spending the rest of my life never eating another piece of cheesecake again. But careening thru life, eating anything and everything without regard to portions, nutrition, frequency...well that's just one area of inconsistency that I want to be done with.

And I thank my hubby for showing me how valuable it is to be consistent.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Grocery Shopping for the Plan

Tonight, hubby and I went grocery shopping, and the vast majority of what we bought was in the produce section. In the fruit category, I picked out apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, and grapefruit, and peaches. I love fruit, so this is an easy one for me. I'll eat just about any fruit there is, although this selection is incredibly boring. Next week, I'll add in some berries, if I can find good ones, and maybe a few less common fruits.

For veggies, we got lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, carrots, sweet peppers, hot peppers, potatoes. I have quite a few tomatoes left at home, plus a couple cucumbers. Forgot to get spinach.

Picked up the major staple meat for our house: skinless, boneless chicken breasts, on sale for $1.79/lb, plus a bag of frozen shrimp.

per Allan's comment a week or so ago, I picked up some Gruyere. Let's see how that goes...never had it before.

And for dinner....on our way to the checkout, I spotted this:

It's got all the requisite ingredients: lean chicken, whole wheat pasta, veggies. The sauce wasn't bad, but wasn't great, so I added 2 tsp of peanut butter and about 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper. Total calories for dinner: 310+63=373

Adding that to earlier today and I'm at 997 calories.

Hubby and I are off to watch an hour or so of TV before bed, and my snack is one string cheese and 6 wheat thins, plus my 6th bottle of water...I am so floating away!!

I feel great about my first day! Hope all of you do as well!!

Countin' & Measurin'

Awhile back, oh about a month or so ago, Paula posted about buying some new measuring spoons, which she promptly put in her purse, only to take them back out again, concerned about being "extreme". And then she discussed her worry about finding balance without  having to drag around all the "tools" all the time.

I get how she really justs wants to get to a place where it all comes naturally, and easily: being able to make good choices, in healthy quantities. I get that she doesn't relish the idea of having to spend each and every mealtime counting, measuring, adding up, worrying, debating.....

My eating habits took a long time to evolve into what they were before I started this journey of weight loss. It all sorta crept up on me. And then one day, I took a look at the plate-full of food I'd put in front of me, and had this vague, detached sort of worried feeling. It wasn't the "ton of bricks" realization all at once, it was sort of a few bricks at a time. I'd cook, I'd plate up, I'd sit down to eat, and walk away absolutely stuffed to the point of being miserable. As if the last 10-20 bites were suddenly more tasty than the first 10-20. And by that time, the kinds of foods I ate had changed dramatically. I never used to be a cheese person, or a snack person, or a sweets person. I liked fresh fruit, not fruit pie. I liked plain foods without sauces, and I didn't drink much pop. But that all changed as my taste buds "matured". And I learned to love salt, fat & sugar, pasta, all the starchy foods, gravies....

And over the course of, oh....maybe a year or so, I realized that what I'd been eating had grown to about 3-5 times the quantity of what I used to eat 20 years ago. And I never was a "light" eater, only a reasonable eater, and I made better choices. Over all the years after my kids were born, what I ate got worse and worse, and how much I ate multiplied. And one day I looked at my plate and all the pieces came together: why in the hell am I putting **this** much food on my plate?!? And why am I obsessed with eating it all?!?
I had no clue about how many ounces I should eat, or even what 2 ounces of this or 4 ounces of that looked like. As much cooking as I've done, I seemed to have become disconnected between the "ingredient" ounces and the "eating" ounces. There was no connection in my mind between what I dumped into a bowl, and what an actual serving looked like.

I don't want to drag around a set of  measuring spoons and cups forever either. I want to get to a point where it all comes naturally and easily. I want to be very clear on what an actual "healthy" serving looks like, as opposed to what is put on my plate in a restaurant.

That may be where things started going wrong for me. Eating out. I've spent a good deal of my adult life going to night school, which thankfully is now finished. And I've worked full time and raised two kids, some of that time as a single parent, and then three kids after hubby and I got together. And the ease of eating out was just too tempting, when I'd come home exhausted and starving. I had no concept of whether the quantities I'd get were healthy or excessive. And I didn't care.

So now that I have spent several years feeling more and more miserable, hurting, feeling weak and tired all the time, getting sick alot.....well now I want to know. Now I want to learn how to measure and count. Now I want to have some idea of whether I'm comsuming 400 calories or 4000. Now I think I will get a set of measuring spoons to stick in my purse

.......at least for awhile


Breakfast was 300 calories, oatmeal and coffee

Lunch:  5 prunes, 90 calories
one piece of raisin bread with 1 tsp butter, 123 calories
one clementine, 35 calories
10 cashews, 76 calories

And I counted and measured all of it!

Total so far today: 624 calories
3 bottles of water.


Ok, you have to imagine Robin Williams shoutin' that into a mic! .......Gets a little lost in the translation....

So I got my SSDDDC packet from Allan last night, and although it starts today, I got dinner in under the wire according to a menu item. I had to make due with what I had in the house, but I still brought it in at 415 calories, and I was happy with that.

This morning, I've had my oatmeal, sipping on a cup of coffee, and am through my first bottle of water.


Monday, December 6, 2010

Ending the Day on a Good Note

I got my packet from Allan, and read through all the food choices and recommendations. Then I headed to the kitchen to try and rustle up some dinner. Didn't make it out to grocery shop today, as I worked late. But the challenge was on! I just had to find something in the freezer, fridge, and pantry that would still keep me within limit.

Granted, lunch was too many calories. As I walked out the door, it occurred to me that I should have eaten half, and brought the rest home for tomorrow's lunch, and I would have been well within my allotted calories. But tomorrow, game on!

So for dinner, I just happened to have some tilapia fillets in the freezer. After thawing, I sprinkled them with 2 tsp of Italian bread crumbs and 2 tsp of Parmesan cheese, a little Kosher salt and garlic powder: 149 calories per 3 ounce fillet.

Next up were some baked potatoes, on the small side. I had some really good looking tomatoes, which I quartered and sprinkled with Kosher salt and red wine vinegar. And I dug up a (**gasp**) can of baby peas.

Not terrible for a bare-bones, have-to-grocery-shop evening.

My servings: one tilapia fillet, 149 calories
1/2 of a small baked potato with 2 tsp butter,  124 calories
1 tomato, 22 calories
1/2 cup of peas sprinkled with a bit of lemon juice, 60 calories.
10 ounces of maple lemonade, 60 calories

Total: 415 calories. That brings me to 1068 calories for the day. And I'm comfortable at 8:30pm.

Have 1.5 bottles of water to finish today, and I'll be at 83 ounces.

I'm feeling good!

G'nite all! And lets get this ball rolling!!

107 Continued....Gotta Love a Good Salad

I love salads. I always have, even as a kid. And fortunately for me now, I've always preferred the vinaigrette type dressings, heavy on the vinegar and light on the oil.

Today I was just craving a Greek salad. And there happens to be a Coney Island just down the block from work that has a good one. Their dressing is a vinaigrette-style Greek, and their ingredients are always very fresh.

So, I just had one for lunch, easy on the dressing. I like that they bring the dressing on the side, in a container that has its volume numbered on the bottom, making it easier for me to plug into NutritionData to calculate the total calories.

So for lunch:
Greek salad,  497 calories
cup of tea with a Tbsp honey,  16 calories

Plus another bottle of water.

Total so far: 653 calories and 2 bottles of water

More later......

106 & 107....Catching Up

Whew! Busy weekend....and I'm a bit behind on documenting my food intake. Actually found myself scribbling on a note pad these last couple days, cuz I didn't have much time at the computer.

Saturday: Finished making that pot roast, and hubby made the roast potatoes. By the time I sat down to eat, I was just tired and not all that hungry.

one poached egg,  71 calories
one piece of buttered toast 115 calories
cup of coffee.  140 calories
2 bottles of water

No lunch....

3.8 ounces of pot roast, 315 calories
3/4 cup of cubed roasted potatoes sprayed with olive oil, 285 calories
glass of lemonade, 90 calories
3 more bottles of water

Another cup of coffee, 140 calories, with 2 Tbsp of whipped cream on top, 24 calories

Total: 1180 calories
83.5 ounces of water
16 ounces of lemonade
24 ounces of coffee

one piece of toast,  115 calories
one clementine, 35 calories
coffee, 140 calories

2 bottles of water

Early dinner:
4 ounces of pot roast, 332 calories
1/2 cup of potatoes, 171 calories
about 2 ounces of carrots, 30 calories
2 bottles of water
16 ounces of lemonade, 90 calories

Another cup of coffee, 140 calories

1053 calories
4 bottles of water, 66.8 ounces
16 ounces lemonade
24 ounces of coffee


And then it was Monday.

Been kinda down for the last couple of weeks. Off and on. When I'm busy, and too distracted, I'm alright, but the moment I slow down a bit, I start falling back into the crappy mood. Still having issues with my Mom. She's pretty much not calling me at all. And when I call her, she's quite bitchy.

Makes me want to avoid calling...which I do until my conscious gets the best of me. Then the dread starts creeping in....and I drag my feet for days, until I can't stand it any longer and I call. Today is the day I'm calling....and I am so not wanting to do this. And I feel really guilty about that.

Sigh....I just **know** the tone of voice she'll use to answer the phone...and I can predict the kinds of things whe's going to say, and what they all mean, and that "it's all my fault"...not in so many words most of the time, but eventually she'll get to that. And I just hope she's distracted by some other issue going on, and that I won't be the target.

Anybody have "mom issues"? Any suggestions?

And so far today:

coffee, 140 calories
bottle of water, 16.7 ounces

Saturday, December 4, 2010

FIJI Water Update!

Well, apparently I spoke too soon earlier this week when I mentioned that Fiji water was closing its doors. I guess they were only closed about 2 days before the company COO sat down with Fiji officials and came to an agreement: they are gonna pay the taxes.

The story may not be over, but for now they are still in the water bottling business.

And the increase in taxes ***may*** be a good thing for the Fijians...or at least for their government.

Days 104 & 105 Non-Stop Busy.....

So Thursday I mentioned that I had been shopping for our Christmas charity at work, Operation Good Cheer. Friday all the gifts were to be delivered to a local airport for sorting, so they'd be ready for Saturday morning, when all the gifts would then be loaded into various planes to be transported all over the state.

The gifts are donated, the time for sorting is donated, the food to feed the volunteers is donated, the planes are donated for the day, the pilots to fly them volunteer their time as well. My co-workers and I arrived at the hangar at about 9am. Things were just getting going, as other volunteers trickled in as well. Once the delivery trucks started arriving, everything from Meijer's Semi's to "Two Men and a Truck" moving trucks, to Army Trucks, as well as individual deliveries, we offloaded the gifts, sorted them according to a predetermined numbering system based on where the child lives (county) and what flight number the gifts would be on. The numbering on the gift boxes is very important in order to make sure that each child gets their gift, and no gifts get delivered to the other side of the state.

We were told, as the first group of volunteers to arrive, that we would be the "Pile Captain's". We'd be in charge of checking every bag of gifts that was brought to our numbered area. As the gifts were taken off the trucks, the number were checked 3 times for accuracy. So as the Pile Captain of Pile 16, I got busy. Each time a volunteer brought me a bag of gifts, I had to look at every single package in the bag and make sure that they had "16" on them. No problem! Until we got really busy. Then it got pretty hectic!!

All in all, we had a great time. I don't know how many gifts there were in total. After our crew left, they were expecting another crew to finish up the day, from 4-7pm. My Pile was expecting to receive 939 packages on Friday, and that included bikes too. Take a look...

That's my pile, number 16. It's about 25-30 feet deep, and about 7 feet high, and about 7 feet wide! I was piling the boxes way above my head, and then tossing more on top.

Once we got going, I made a bit of a game of it, trying to get the tallest pile going. When I left at 4pm, I was in the lead!


Here is what the hangar looked like from the corner, up the steps (not those you see in the pic above). And you can't even see the left wall and all the gifts over there!

That was a fun day! Ya know, the economy might suck in Michigan, but the hearts of its residents do not. If anyone would like to make a $10 donation via your cell phone, you can text the letters "OGC" to 27722. It's a new way to donate this year! Here's the technical stuff...

Here is a link to their website: Operation Good Cheer


On another note, food for Friday was for crap. I blew it, and that's how it is. My co-workers and I met for breakfast before we got started. I had 2 poached eggs, one piece of buttered toast, 2 slices of bacon, and hash browns. I could have skipped everything after the eggs. Also had coffee.

They gave us lunch at the hangar, pizza and pop. I had one slice of pepperoni pizza, and a can of black cherry pop. I also had 2 bottles of water before lunch. As I left in the afternoon, I ran back to the break area to grab another bottle of water, and ended up grabbing a donut too (it was huge!). I ate the whole stupid thing, thinking the entire time "This is stupid. I don't want this. I don't need this. I should just toss it out." And I still kept shoveling it in. But I drank the water, plus another half bottle I had in the car.

That made 3.5 bottles of water.

And for dinner, hubby asked me to make him some mac & cheese, which I had some of as well.

Plus two more bottles of water.

So, I ate like crap, but I drank more than the max water. And I was busy hoisting boxes all day long, on my feet. I'm not sure if my activity burned up those stupid donut calories, or the hash brown calories, or the bacon calories. But I'll say this: I felt good about what I did that day.


Saturday: Got up this morning, and made breakfast. Hubby wanted scrambled eggs (not my fave) so I made him those, and made myself one poached egg, and a cup of coffee. Also had a clementine.

Then I got busy painting our bedroom. That took the better part of the day. I missed having lunch, other than another clementine. Had another cup of coffee, and two bottles of water.

I have a pot roast cooking right now. The plan is to leave the broth alone, no thickening to gravy, and I won't be eating much - maybe 3-4 ounces. Hubby wants some roasted potatoes, but I think I'm going to make some quinoa for me, instead. And I still need to rummage thru the fridge and see what kind of veggies we have in there. We need to get to the grocery store. Its getting pretty slim in there.

I need to do a calorie count for today....but I'm pretty sure I'm doing ok so far.

I'll try and get back here tonight, but for now I'm cleaning paint brushes and making dinner....yay.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Filling Low-Cal Lunch

For lunch I made a salad of 1 large seedless cucumber, 4 tomatoes, 1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese and 2 Tbsp lite Caesar dressing, with some salt and pepper on top.  I ate half of it, which came out to 200 calories. I prefer the mozzarella to be in chunks instead of shredded, but I was out. Actually, last time I made this, I bought mozzarella in the string-cheese type, and sliced them into little rounds. I think you get more flavor that way; however, adding 1/2 cup shredded definitely has fewer calories.

Plus a bottle of water.



4 bottles down! Whew! I thought I had to pee a lot before! That was nuthin!!


One December Goal....

One of my goals for December is to try and find an alternative to the creamer I use in my coffee. Allan keeps shouting CREAMORA at me! Lol!! So I'm giving it a go. Its not like I've never had it before...we've got Creamora at work in our coffee area...but the coffee is so bad, that on the rare occassion that I have a cup at work (out of desperation), I'm not liking it so much. Can't tell which is worse, the coffee or the creamora.

So here's my plan. I've got pumpkin pie spice at home, and (I've done this bofore) I'm going to add a 1/2 tsp or so to the coffee grounds as it brews. (no calories) THEN, instead of adding my **sweet** creamer, I'm going to add CREAMORA and either Stevia or a small amount of sugar, or maybe even maple syrup. (I'm not up to using artificial sweetener, it tastes SOOOO bad to me). So, I'll let you know how it goes. And for those of you out there that still use the International Delight flavored creamers, this could be good news.


So far today: coffee w/ sweetened creamer: 140 calories
A medium banana, 105 calories
2 bottles of water 33.4 ounces
1/2 of a shortbread cookie, 141 calories

Total: 386 calories...yuck

Day 103 Starting the Season on a "Good" Note

A few details....

Yesterday's running total left off after lunch, at 557 calories and 2 bottles of water

Dinner was 3 ounces corned beef, 213 calories
2 whole roasted carrots sprayed with olive oil 16 calories
roasted red potatos, diced, 3/4 cup, sprayed with olive oil 305 calories
One piece of Baileys' flavored chocolate candy 54 calories
two more bottles of water
Glass of white wine, 120 calories

The day's total: 1265 calories
Water: 66.8


Last night I got out there and started my Christmas shopping. A little background...at my job, we have an annual charity event called Operation Good Cheer, started by one of the employees, back in the early '70's. The event has grown substantially over the years. The Office of Child and Family Services of Michigan provides to Operation Good Cheer the first names, ages, and a brief bio of children who have been placed in foster care, residential treatment facilities or group homes across the state. These kids range in age from babies through 17+, and are pretty much not going to have much of a Christmas. Operation Good Cheer asks the kids or their caregivers to provide a "wish list", and then employees select a child to sponsor for the event. Unfortunately, the older kids are usually the last to be selected. I'm not really sure why that is...maybe some folks find it more difficult to shop for teens than for little ones. But I've got three teens, so I picked a young lady that is 17, in residential treatment for abuse/neglect, and has "refugee" status.

:( :( :( 

It breaks my heart to think of these kids who may never have known safety or family or love in their lives.

So last night I went shopping. I was both happy and sad as I went. The young lady that I shopped for asked for things like a winter coat, scarf, gloves and hat, and a warm, fuzzy blanket. My kids take these things for granted. And I consider these to be necessities, not gifts. So as I shopped, I went with a budget in mind so I don't get myself into a financial bind, but as I picked out the coat, blanket and accessories, I just felt compelled to get her something that was a "want", not a need. Christmas should be about making someone feel special, not an obligation. I ended up blowing my budget, spending twice as much as I thought I would, and getting all the items on her list, plus a couple more that I picked based on her biographical info. We won't be able to see her when she opens them, so I tucked little notes into the items I bought, wishing her well, and sending love and hugs. It seems so inadequate. So the sad/happy part was about feeling sad for her situation, and hoping that as an almost-adult, she'll have a few more options open to her to have a better life. The happy part was about feeling blessed that I have a job that allows me to buy her some much wanted and needed items that may make her life a little bit warmer, that may bring a smile to her face. I hope so...

An added bonus of my job is that my employer allows us to use 2 workdays per year doing some kind of charity/community service, on paid company time. So tomorrow, all of us who are participating in Operation Good Cheer will be spending the day at a small local airport, sorting all the gifts into piles. Saturday morning, those piles will be loaded onto planes (donated) and flown all over the state (by pilots who volunteer) to be delivered to the kids. It is truly amazing to see a hangar filled to the rafters with wrapped Christmas presents, just waiting to be loaded up and whisked away.

That must be what the North Pole looks like...

I'm humbled by my blessings....

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm Floating AWAY!!!!!!

I've always said I have the world's healthiest, most efficient kidneys.....so all this water is making me run ALL THE FRICKIN TIME!!! Can I log my running-to-the-bathroom time as running for exercise time?!? I have to use the stairs to get there!!

December Goals

I'm borrowing a bit here....

Sweat Pea posted today about her December Goals, and asked her readers about theirs. I'll admit, I haven't actually broken down my weight loss plan into mini-goals, or given much thought to very time-limited goals, such as what I can get done in the next 30 days. I've really only been thinking in terms of what my end goal is, my goal weight.


Feeling kinda silly for not coming up with little milestones along the way, even ones that aren't about a number on the scale. I'm all about tracking what I AM doing (even if what I do isn't the best), but not so good at setting some short-term goals that will help me along the way.

So, for the sake of participating in what works for others, and may work for me as well, here goes:

December Goals

1.)  4  hours (in pieces) doing the Insanity Workout to the best of my ability. (This will take some serious work-up to be able to do the whole thing and at the pace on the video.)

2.)  Walk/run 25 miles.....in spite of the weather.

3.)  1200 calories, 82 ounces of water per day

4.)  7 days of coffee with alternate creamer/sweetener options.


Turkey soup, ok thats the last of it...250 cal

1/2 serving of pistachios, 80 cal

1/2 of a clementine, 17 cal

347 calories

Day 102....I Hate Winter

Walked out the door this morning, on my way to work, and there were snowflakes drifting down around me. Nothing substantial....except the reminder that its going to be a long while before I'll be walking around barefoot.

I've lived nearly my entire life in Michigan (except for my military time), and you'd think I'd be used to it by now. At 40-something, I should know quite well how to dress for the season, and should be acclimated to it.


I still drag my feet about breaking out the gloves and scarves and thick socks. I still walk out the door in the morning with my coat undone (at least I have it on). I still walk around the house for hours, shivering, before I grab a sweater or something warmer to put on.

Why?! WHYWHYWHY do I resist this cold weather so much. You'd think that as much as I dislike it, I would plan better, dress warmer, and do everything I could to make sure I'm staying warm.

But I don't. And I curse the winter, and the snow and the sleet and slush, and scraping ice off my car windows in the morning so I can see to drive to work. I complain about how "being cold makes me angry", literally. It's like an uncontrollable emotional reaction. If I am shivering and tense from being cold, I have a very short fuse.

I lived in Arizona for 4 years, while I was in the military, and I loved every minute of it. WHY oh why I ever moved back to Michigan is beyond me. I just came home when I was done. Nothing lined up. No job waiting. My family was here, of course, so that is really the reason I came home. But I could just as easily have stayed out there, encouraged my folks to come and visit. And maybe after they retired, they might have considered moving to a warmer climate. Maybe....

But all that is water under the bridge, I s'pose.

So here I am. And here is where I met my hubby. And I wouldn't trade that for all the sunny days in the world. And so I guess it is time for me to "woman-up" and start doing what I need to do to take care of myself.

Kinda like a few other areas of my life, dontcha think?


Breakfast: a medium banana, 105 calories
coffee w/ creamer (less today!) 105 calories
16.7 ounces of water

More later.....